i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
Boobs are out for the taking
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
