just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
Never underestimate the healing power of vomiting and a bath.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
Dong worry about me. I just cashed bottle of wine when I found out he was in town, I'm being dramatic. I'll text you tomorrow when I'm sober and my face stops bleeding
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
just saw a kid get pissed on buy a tiger at the zoo. His dad is rofling and the kid is crying. I think I have to go make a new friend
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Randomize
