Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
