i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
its one thing to be single and another thing to be single and then have your profile picture be of you and the cat
your picture is with misty too!!
I AM SINGLE BY CHOICE
Am I not being subtle enough by giving him a rainbow striped bong, during PRIDE MONTH?
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I apologize that you just fell victim to my random thought of how to make a blow job come to life via emojis.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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