if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
just saw 2 fat kids fight for the last slice of pizza. Litteraly fight. God Bless America
he just asked me to email him a handle of captain morgans...how sober do you think he is?
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
