In honor of tonight, my penis will make an appearance
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
cliffnotes. writing studyguide on last pack of smokes. glad this semester is over.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
i'm having flashbacks of crying and telling you i was made out of egg salad.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Rich men love me! I remind them of their trophy wife!!!
Randomize
