I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
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