Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
Randomize
