Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
He met a random girl on the bus home and decided to go to Spain with her. The blackout decisions are becoming internationally epic. He has work in the morning.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Perhaps if I didn't mortify my parents last night with my drunken obnoxious behavior which resulted in the casualty of an entire decorative bathroom shelf which I completely ripped off the wall and left for dead, I would be more than willing to go day drinking.
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
I mean, what's the polite way to say, "sorry but I can't date you cuz I'm sleeping with your boss" ??
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Randomize
