I slayed a troll last night at BC guess i thought i was back in college
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
We left the knife in your bed.
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
Randomize
