he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
