My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
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