Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
How much is that going to cost?
A lot of beer.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Randomize
