It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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