When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
a guy from my religion class just walked in with a red cup. hello first friday of 2nd semester.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
His dick is longer than my foot and I'm a size 9. I'm literally kicking myself in the vagina
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
Last thing I ever expected to say, "Get your finger out of my ear or I will stop sucking your dick."
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
It's nice out. . But after I almost put a bag of chips in the microwave to make nachos. ..I figured it best to not venture too far from the couch
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I wanna snuggle with you as we feed each other chipotle burrito bowls and that's just where I'm at right now
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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