Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
Before we rave about the healing powers of your penis, remember it nearly killed me as well.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
Hows your mom
Shes good, she claims she wasnt drunk
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
