ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
No, i will not have sex with him again. It felt like he was trying to bulldoze his way through me. My vagina is on strike.
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
I can feel your judgement through the phone
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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