That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
I feel that the whole multiple orgasm thing is god's way of saying "sorry for the childbirth deal"
I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
So I cleaned out my gym bag. Found half a bottle of malibu.
You know, I could pretend I'm shocked but what's the use?
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
I am making a budget for 2012. Should condoms be in the insurance or entertainment category?
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
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