Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
