It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
