Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
Took "drink until he's cute" to a whole new level last night...
IT ISN'T. I'M A LITTLE HIGH.
YOU'RE ALWAYS A LITTLE HIGH.
NO. IT'S RARE THAT I'M A LITTLE HIGH. I'M ALWAYS HIGH AS FUCK. THERE'S A DIFFERENCE.
I came home wearing somebody's thong. If you're missing one message me privately.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
