is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
Randomize
