Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
I just introduced him to multiple male orgasms. I love wine AND tequila
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
today's workout consisted of me putting my fake in my sports bra and running to the liquor store.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
Randomize
