: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
I am midnight drunk by noon
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
Randomize