Well the candle wax mightve been sexy if he didn't drop the candle and light half my bed on fire
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Well, if your day started with strippers, then we're tied. Otheriwse, I'm winning.
dude there's automatic no homos on brad Pitt and Leonardo dicaprio. Everyone knows that
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
