After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
You had the genius idea to tape beer to the celing fan. There goes his security deposit. He is gonna be fuckin pissed.
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
dreams really do come true on the roof and drinking again
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I forgot to lock the door last night. I woke up cuz a guy opened my bedroom door, asked me who I was and where he was. And there was another guy standing in the living room asking me if I knew what apartment "Travis" lives in.
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
You might see me up a tree with a deranged look in my eye , just walk away at that point
Randomize
