Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
What the hell am I supposed to do with 50 gallons of mayo?
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I dunno. The only plans I have for sure after finals are smoking a bowl and eating a 5 pound gummy bear. btw I bought a 5 pound gummy bear
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
You don't know bruises until you've been banged by 3 drunk bagpipers in the back of thier bus
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Randomize
