brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
