Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
Mom looked at me, frowned, and said "it makes me sad to see you drink before noon.." So i told her if she doesn't like it she needs to stop waking me up before noon.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Randomize
