Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
My vagina needs her own mother sometimes.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Randomize
