I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I wish there was a hungover fairy to brush my teeth and bring me a diet coke.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
And some old guy told me Jesus loves me and I laughed super hard and told him sinning is fun. Hahaha
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
Just fucked in a kitchen. I never want my penis that close to knives, stoves, or blenders ever again.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Randomize
