Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
Randomize
