Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
The class that normally occupies the room we use for my Monday class had to do posters as if for a Hamlet movie and they pick actors for each character and this person wrote "Robert D. Niro"
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I was pissed last night bc this girl didn't want to have sex but offered to reimburse me for the condoms. That just made me upset
How did "late lunch" turn into 8 solid hours of drinking??? I feel like death.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
