that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
hey, you wanna get together over coffee or something?
is this code for 'i just got broke up with and i need a sympathy dicking'?
how did you know?
Last night was incredible. I can tell by the nacho cheese on my jacket
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
How does it feel to date your dad?
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
