Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
