I want to have your abortion
My astrological sign? Vagitarius.
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
So I just told the bartender I would go down on her. You need to get here
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Oh it's not a problem. Cleaning up the yard and disposing of 75 gallons of Jello is all I've got to look forward to today.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
First encounter with a mirco peen. I was confused when he said he doesnt go down on girls. Cmon dude, practice on a peach.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
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