..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
Randomize