I want to touch your soul through your body...with my penis...
Mike i'm at church right now...
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
I think I should become a real estate agent in th friend zone I know the place so well
Too many sundays start with me waking up still drunk in my car.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
Randomize
