Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Do you miss the park or do you miss us having sex in public?
Sad fact: I'm doing that thing where I'm bored so I give myself Princess Leia hair and drink alcohol.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
