new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Its like "fucckkkkk yooouuuuuu" is echoing up my esophagus
tequila?
yep
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Also at one point I told him to say my name and it took him like 5 seconds to remember.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
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