you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
hey its robert, we just made out in the backyeard. i'm inside now and you should come to the bathroom and meet me.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Just sucked my third dick in the past twelve hours. I must want AIDS.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
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