i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
I haven't been this unsober in a long time. I feel like I am observing myself. Like I am a test subject for alcohol. I wish my brain would shut up and let me be a normal drunk.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
