he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Don't know how your birthday has been, but mine has involved Hershey's syrup and a blowie. It's safe to say you're playing catch up.
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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