trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Its a good thing the lights were off cuz Im pretty sure the look on my face when I touched his penis would have offended him
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He makes me want to shower. It must be love.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
