So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
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