He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I just compared drinking to love. How do these people not know I'm an alcoholic?
I slept with a married guy last night and then broke my toe on the doorframe on the way out. I've never seen karma work so fast.
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I told him you're making deviled eggs for the party. Sisters make deviled eggs to get their sisters laid. It's science.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize