she didnt even puke last nite, shes finally hit champion status. i think im in love
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Waking up in a NH rest stop and reading through my texts is definitely a familiar low
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Randomize
