Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
You left your underwear in a sandwich bag on my kitchen counter.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Randomize
