what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
So I got hit on by a gay guy. It might have something to do with the fact that I licked his nose.
And why did you do that?
Tequila
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
We're in the emergency room. He concussed himself trying to pop all the bubbles on my "one bubble a day" wall calender with his face.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Randomize
