I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Well his dad is my dentist so they've both been in my mouth.
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
