Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
there is potential here for me to have a consistent access to someone's dick who isn't actually an asshole. i think i'm ready for a relationship.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
I found a lucrative side business - giving rides home to drunk oil executives. Very profitable.
She asked what it would take for you to fuck her. You drunkenly mumbled, "pepperoni pizza" and then got in the cab by yourself. You were smiling too. It was weird.
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
It was beautiful and filled the audience with hope for the future. :3 I wish I could speak more but sleep werk nighty
I asked how you were doing?
There are footprints all over my windshield
You said you were making waffles...
Randomize
