She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
Do you think flip cup during wine tasting is a bad idea? They're perfect flipping cups...
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
Stripper just cleaned my glasses with her nipple...
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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