You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Dude you literally tried to cook your phone in the microwave. You were so wasted you asked your mom to help you turn it on.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Gotta love college... Pregamed for my 8:30 flight home this morning and gave the flight attendants all high fives when I got on the plane. Best ride of my life.
Don't worry. I have logic.... just not morals.
It's a testament to the kinds of spouses/parents we will be that we get so wasted but still show up to every class on time. We honor our commitments bitches!
Randomize
