whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
