This is not my ceiling
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Its funny that for once I get home and I'm just as high as my parents are.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I think I gave a random lady a dildo
Again?!
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize
