I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
did the fire alarm go off at the party last night I kind of remember a fire alarm noise
omg omg i ripped it out of the ceiling omg
Oh my god. That was the best half-hour of my life that didn't involve genitals.
I slipped in the shower today and broke my lighter..
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I just want to make out with him forever
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
Tim is a child that you physically can't love because he makes it hard for you to even find anything redeeming about him so you debate leaving him forever at the gas station.
I think my pussy is going to freeze to the ground
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
