My nipple is on Facebook.
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
From what I remember, he had one ball. But it was cute
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
She wants to go as a facebook "like" for halloween, but right now her costume looks more like the hamburger helper hand with broken fingers.
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Randomize
