Turn sideways at McDonald's = actual directions to a winery
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
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