she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Your car is in front of my house. Keys are in the mailbox. There is a fire hydrant in your trunk. Happy Birthday
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
