I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
I'm on a mission. But just to make out with him so his relationship collapses and he is single when I come back in April.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
I have a hook up buddy in Abiquiu. He lives next to a Chipotle; that's the only reason I see him.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
Randomize
