This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
That's not a good night. A good night is waking up with no skirt, no money, and the imprint of the edge of the bar on your forehead.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Randomize
